Stop Putting So Much Pressure On Yourself… pour on the self compassion

 In Self Compassion & Forgiveness, Transforming Your Life

Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves?

Have you ever stopped to look at just how much undue pressure you are put on yourself, everyday. To get things done by some self created deadline, to get a super human amount of things done in a day or month or year, to achieve things faster than a silver bullet?

Uh, and given all the stressors and pressures that are out of your control, isn’t it kind of crazy that you would ADD unnecessary pressure to your own life?

I decided this week that I was crazy if I kept adding undue pressure to my life – so I gave it up – yep, traded in the pressure cooker for the self compassion soaker – where I can can create space and grace instead of stress and duress. And I invite you to join me in using this week’s Love Letter.

Watch this week’s Love Letter video where I had a good talk with my Inner Wisdom (that inner b.f.f.) and found 3 ways that we humans (me and you included) create unnecessary pressure on ourselves.

be-your-own-best-friend

Watch this week’s love letter video and choose which one is most affecting you, and dare to make a shift to self-compassion (one of the 10 branches of self-love) this week!

Let me know which one you are choosing to release here on the blog – and how you are going to apply self-compassion instead!

 

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Showing 28 comments
  • Nicole Winsauer
    Reply

    Unrealistic expectations. Big time. Mentally going through & figuring out how to balance or unbalance all of the things that are very important to me. On that note…are they all truly equally important missions?

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Good question to sit with Nicole especially at equinox when it is all about returning to balance

  • Shari
    Reply

    Great message Christine! And very good examples of unnecessary pressures. Do I have to choose one??? I think in my life, I have used 1 & 2 to the point of using 3–make sense? I was thinking while watching this that I NEVER get stuff done, I’ve given up, it all takes longer than I think it will and it doesn’t get done when I think it should, and–ah HA!!! I’m laying around reading, eating junk, doing all kinds of self destructive or at least non productive things and berating myself for it.

    Thanks for the wonderful sounds of thunder and rain and help with my ah-ha. I ‘specially like the music at the end! πŸ™‚

    Blessings, Shari

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Shari – so witnessing your AHAs – and sending you a big hug from the Virginia land of thunder!

  • Jennifer Walden
    Reply

    Thank you so much, Christine and Noah! I so needed these awarenesses of the pressures I unnecessarily put on myself (which I was doing and was suffering as a result, right up until I watched the video)! And the Self Compassion was the perfect antidote! I had tears streaming down my cheeks! In gratitude to you for facilitating this potent self Love, and gratitude to myself for listening and applying the Love and Wisdom! Such a powerful and beautiful healing and reminder!
    Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! You rock!
    Much, Much Love,
    Jennifer

    • carylo17
      Reply

      So loving that the self compassion touched your heart – seeing that pressure melt away as you apply that love!
      xox CHristine and Noah

  • Dori
    Reply

    I am doing all three of those today, and it’s Sunday! Yikes. I’m recalibrating my expectations for today and taking everything off my list except for “mall,” “Godiva store” and “make chili.” I feel better already πŸ™‚ Hope you guys are enjoying Virginia – I love it there!

    • carylo17
      Reply

      SO how was the chili? Love you recalibrated and did what filled you up!

  • Kristen Lazzara
    Reply

    Loved your message today! Years ago, Marta Maria Marraccini suggested taking 3 things from the (unrealistic expectations daily) TO DO LIST and putting them on a post-it note so you can focus on what really are the priorities that day. When I don’t do that, I get distracted and feel overwhelmed by the massive, seemingly endless, list and then that wine thing you talked about has been known to happen….

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Lol. Yes it has been known to happen to us all “) Seeing your pressure release as i type this … xoxo christine

  • Harriette
    Reply

    Great music choice!!!!! Love Al. Actually, a bit of all 3. I have been having this conversation with myself over the past several weeks…and, because of some of the harmonizing work I do, I have been working with “unloading” these “high” “unrealistic” expectations. Hasn’t been easy, but the process is wonderful…helps me take a look at what’s really going on.

    Thank you,

    Harriette

    • carylo17
      Reply

      YOur most welcome Harriette – and YES its all about LOVE AND HAPPINESS!!

  • Glenda Davis
    Reply

    Thank you, Christine, for this reminder of how take the pressure off myself! You’re doing great work – lots of love to you!

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Love received Glenda! HEres to all of us taking the pressure OFF!

  • Rochelle
    Reply

    #3: False pressure release! (I’ve been calling them “distractions” but “false pressure release” feels more accurate). And it’s especially funny because the last few days, I’ve been thinking about when we falsely “reward ourselves” by punishing ourselves later, like wine, chocolate, ice cream, watching TV series instead of checking “To dos” off my list. (So I do #2 too)

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Witnessing your stand Rochelle for doing what is really nourishing for YOU

  • Annica
    Reply

    Hi!
    Thanks for this inspiring video of how to release the pressure we put on ourselves through identifying the “traps”. I listened twice since yesterday, you nailed it! Looks like a beautiful spot youΒ΄re in. Wishes for a happy easter and love from Annica

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Annica – sending you much love from Virginia!

  • Penelope
    Reply

    I am guilty of all three, but the one having the biggest negative impact on my life is #3, false pressure release. I am now an emotional eater, stuffing my to-do list failures, disappointments, depression etc. down into myself with food – rich, calorie-laden, zero nutrient food. I was already planning for today, I have healthier fare lined up, I have verified that there are enough clothes to let go of extra weight without further spending of money – and thanks Christine, a quick method of slowing myself down!

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Penelope – YES! a big one – to slowing down and giving yourself what you really need. oxoxo

  • Laurel
    Reply

    Hi Christine. Thank you so much for this message. It made such a difference to me this morning. I had a relatively free morning and started mentally filling it up thinking of all the different things i could do and should do. I was putting so much pressure on myself with unnecessary deadlines. I started to feel overwhelmed and bad about myself. Then I statrted thinking obsessively about the boyfriend who broke up with me a month ago. Thanks to you i was able to give compassion to myself and realize what was happening. Its so amazing how our minds work and how you can change the negative patterns if you have the right tools. Thanks again! I am starting a book club with a group of friends april 13 and the first book we r reading is madly in love with me πŸ™‚

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Laurel – I LOVE that your book club is diving in Madly in Love with ME this month – one thing you could do is to have each month the women choose one branch to grow and make that part of your book club each month πŸ™‚ so you get to increase your self love every month! xoxo

  • Lisa Barnett
    Reply

    Thanks Christine. Great message. I was feeling like exploding with all the pressure I’m putting on myself. It’s wonderful to remember, I get a day off too and fun is for everyone. Much Love to you and Noah on your travels.

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Lisa – yes to taking that pressure OFF! love from the road! xoxo

  • Joanie Yanusas
    Reply

    Thanks Christine~ Loved the video~! I just got back from a week in Jamaica..And so I am feeling relaxed…And sitting at my desk preparing for 2 talks with PSU this week..feeling the stress building up…Soooo silly..and your video came at a perfect time~ When I asked my BF what I needed to give up, she said unrealistic expectations~ I have a tendency to think everything needs to be “Perfect”…and keep revising and revising my presentations…She said “Joanie what you have is really good..What you are sharing with your listeners is valuable and insightful..You have so much to share..RELAX..enjoy…” And sooo I am…Thanks again Christine..Love you bunches!

    • carylo17
      Reply

      YES! to letting go of those unrealistic expecations and i am knowing that yes Joanie what you have to share as it is is SOO valuable – enjoy the extra time!

  • Lyndal Edwards
    Reply

    Christine. WOW!!! Simple, powerful and perfectly beautiful. Decided to watch you BEFORE diving into today’s (very long) to do list. I needed your thunder and lightening to ground me to reality again and the space of self-compassion.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you,
    Lyndal

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Lyndal – glad to be there to bring in the self compassion! xoxox

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