RESPECT – Do Not Do These 3 Things If You Want Loving Relationships
Watch this video where we share 3 things you DO NOT want to do if you want only loving respectful relationships. Then choose one of the “respect killers” we talk about, and dare to give up this toxic habit. Post which one you will give up and what you believe giving it up will give you.
For example: I give up calling my sister a bitc…you know what (or any other nasty name.) And I know that this will give me more happiness because I won’t be creating negative energy inside myself.
I did this over a decade ago with my sister. We used to fight like cats and we had the mouths of two girls from the south side of Chicago. We were skilled with our profanity! When I took the self-love vow to have ONLY RESPECTFUL LOVING RELATIONSHIPS, this was the hardest relationship for me to change.
But I had to start with not contributing to the disrespect by swearing at her and calling her names. I had to choose SELF RESPECT first… who did I want to be? Because the self love truth is that no matter how much a person is mean to you or tries to get under your skin, they are still a divine being of love, who deserves love. This doesn’t mean you become a doormat or a victim or stay in close relations with people who are mean and abusive and disrespectful. But it does mean that YOU have to choose first to stop contributing to the disrespect. That is part of self-respect.
And that is what this weeks Love Letter is all about.
More on how to be in relationship with people who can’t and won’t respect you in next week’s love letter.
If you want other people to respect and honor you, you have to GIVE respect first, to yourself and others.
Yes, it’s true… you can’t be a raving lunatic with your mate, or talk smack about your friends, or say dis-respectful things to people you love and expect them to shower you with respect. And this shows up differently for all of us. Maybe…
1. You are the kind of person who gives respect to others, gets disrespected and then goes into doormat or victim mode or
2. You demand and expect respect from others, but sometimes don’t always play by the same rules or
3. You come from honor and respect most of the time, but sometimes you just can’t come from love with certain people…
We can all hone our skills in relationships, so that we create MORE LOVE, without sacrificing our own self respect and without settling for less than the unconditional love we deserve.
For now, watch the video and take a stand for self -respect and love and give up at least one of these toxic habits. Write it here on the blog and then ask your Inner Wisdom what you think you will receive… and write that too so you can see the benefit.
And if you want more support on creating the BEST relationships of your life, try the 40-day Choosing Me Before WE self love practice – check it out at www.ChoosingMEbeforeWE.com
Sometimes I get so frustrated with my business helper that I vent about her to a close friend – yep – I talk smack. This is going to be a hard one to give up but…you’re right. It’s disrespectful! Thank you for pointing that out!
Stacy – awareness is the first step – big YAHOO for giving up the smack – i know you will be SO glad that you did … the benefits you will receive will be tremendous! xoox
I am giving up hitting below the belt (even privately in my journal – wow!). As a result I will receive the possibility to see people around me in new more positive and more honouring ways, which can only lead to more friendship and more loving relationships. <3
Genevieve – so seeing you taking off your punching gloves and trading them in for respect, and as a result receiving so much love! xoo
Hi Christine and Noah! Thank you so much for the video! The love (and respect!) you have for each other is so inspiring!!!
I am going to give up gossipping about friends and coworkers. My inner being is telling me that in exchange for it I will receive self-respect!:)
Kate – YES! I know that as you give up the gossip you will be receiving lots more self respect and self honor — it was a big one for me and one of the best love choices of my life. Love to you xoxoxo
Fantastic video, Christine and Noah. I am sharing it on my Facebook and more because these are exactly the kinds of practices *I* need to sharpen up on, and I’ll be telling my clients and friends about this, too. Your messages are helpful and powerful – keep going!
Shannon – THANK YOU, noah and i are sitting here together right now and both thank you for the feedback so we can keep the love flowing 🙂 Thank you for sharing the love, SO appreciate it xoxoxo
I am a “number 3 person”.
I really appreciate how respect creates good in my life, but sometimes, I fail to act from love (and instead, I act from fear…)
I guess the habit I have to quit is bringing stuff from the past…
I now understand that the past has a strong influence on me, and I keep living with fears created from events as far as decades ago !!!! (en I’m just 29…)
So thank you for this love-boost, and I am going to work on this promis right now !
Elisa – seeing you taking a stand for letting go of what no longer serves you so you can move ahead and on to being and receiving SOOOO much love. xooxo
I absolutely love your videos! They inspire me to be the best I can be. I so look forward to sharing my self love with a partner. What a gift you and Noah are.
Jennifer – Noah and i receive your love – thank YOU! And i know that you indeed are already sharing your self love in the relationships you do have… keep that up too! big xox
Gosh- I’m bad at all of these! or should I say I’m really, really, insanely GOOD at them?? haha, ok, I will try to give up #2 No ancient history. But I did have a question: what do you recommend or suggest for ancient history that still hurts? (because that’s why people bring it up, it’s an unhealed wound) I read a lot about healing this in partnership with the book 7 conversations for a lifetime of love but since I read it at the end of my partnership…… it didn’t really matter! (at that time- will be super useful in a future relationship)
Thanks for any nuggets of wisdom 🙂
Jen- Great question and two things. One, can i invite you to change ‘try to’ to ‘willing to’ – the universe only responds to choice, so trying to doesnt really cut it. If you can be willing to, which i believe you are, more universal help can show up! And second, great question – YES! ancient history does come up because you havent forgiven and released it, so YES you do need to release and forgive it – with that other person and also with yourself. The time to do that is not however during a fight or high emotional moment. Bring it up for clearing when the space is more calm and open, be proactive. ANd then just like letting a wound heal, don’t keep picking off the scab by bringing it back up, or else it will never heal. wishing you much love xoxo
I am willing to give up hitting below the belt, especially when the past is brought up and I feel the need to defend my self and or/when being called the ‘B’ word, which happened very recently and I ripped off the belt buckle, it hit some nerves from the past and the relationship is over, see the lessons… Thank you for sharing this, right on time, what a blessing… :)..
Princess – from one former below the belt hitter to another, i so witness your stand!! And I can tell you for me, this one shift made such an impact on releasing relationships that were’nt loving and creating new ones that were. xoox
I vow not to hide my critical statements behind sarcastic comments.
Julie this is beautiful – yes to not veiling the emotions – lets just have them so we can clear them out and find love! xoxo
Thank you so much Christine and Noah for this wonderful video.
I am so giving up bringing up ancient history. Its like I do not have control over it but I know thats not true(loool).
I usually feel bad after I do it. Does it mean I have not forgiven because I know I have, but somehow,it just still shows up.
I also give up judging myself and others