Start Your Year from Self Love: 4 ?s to Making Heart & Soul Goals, not pressured-filled goals

 In Self Empowerment, Self Expression, Self Love, Self Worth, Transforming Your Life

Watch this video & get the 4 questions to ask your heart and soul so you create a year you LOVE!

It can be hard to hear your heart and soul – it can feel daunting, and you can get stuck in your brain real fast. And you can also short circuit yourself because of fear. Which is why I invented this AWESOME LOVE FILLED GAME for finding your Heart & Soul Goals, and creating a year motivated by LOVE not pressure, fear or lack.

I’ve been playing this game all week — with Noah, at dinner with friends, and last night we had a Dream Party where we all played it and then painted our heart and soul desires on our windows! And now I will share it with you (window painting is optional).

The game is based on 4 core questions that help you get into your heart and soul DESIRES (desire means “from the stars” – in other words you co-create with Spirit instead of from want, lack or fear).

Here are the questions:

1. What do you desire to DO in this YEAR (name the year)? (these are actions you desire to take)
2. What do you desire to HAVE in this YEAR? (these are things you are in relationship to – people, material things)
3. Who do you desire to BE in this YEAR? (this is about who you CHOOSE to be in the world this year)
4. What do you desire to FEEL in this YEAR ? (choose three words that culminate how you want to feel – your heart and soul work on the feeling level)

To bring these to life say them out loud with a friend, or get pieces of paper and free flow write the answers, using the questions as statements —

“In (Name the Year, i.e. 2014), I desire to DO… ”

“In this YEAR, I desire to HAVE…”

“In this YEAR, I desire to BE…”

“In this YEAR,  I desire to FEEL” — and before you talk or write, put your hand on your heart, close your eyes, take a breath and then just write or say what comes — no thinking it, FEEL it or SEE it… and let it emerge. The best is when you just let the energy rip out of you talking or writing and YOU surprise yourself.

A few important self-love and spiritual pieces of wisdom

1. Use the word DESIRE not words like “like to have” “want to do” – want comes from lack, like from a place of not deserving – that is so not self-love! So when you state these desires, it’s about coming from wholeness and enoughness. You already have access to all of this inside of you and through your connection to spirit. Desire means ‘From the stars’ so using this word invokes the truth that you are A. Aligning with Divine Will and B. Co Creating with the Divine. This isn’t about magical thinking or hopeful manifesting, but getting yourself into alignment with your heart and soul’s wisdom. When you do that, you create your year instead of pressure fill it.

2. January is the DREAMING TIME, February the Seeding Time – so play with these questions all month/moon long. This January holds a full cycle of the moon, which from a divine feminine perspective is really awesome and powerful. because when we create in conjunction with the moon cycle, we create realities that make harmony in our lives instead of stress.

Let’s get the desire pump primed — choose one of the 4 self love questions and STATE HERE ON THE BLOG one desire – “In X YEAR, I desire to Do… Have… Be… Feel… —

Here’s one of mine… it’s a DO DESIRE…  “In 2014, I desire to take a group of women to Italy for a Divine Feminine Immersion – a week of absolutely activating their Feminine Super Powers to Receive & Achieve instead of over give and overdo… and then I desire to stay in Italy and the coasts of Greece to travel and have my own personal experience for the rest of the month!”

Now your turn… post it here on the blog.

 

Would you like to deepen your self-love, get my free self-love kit with support to see where you’re strong and weak in self love and what you can do to deepen it!

 

 

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Showing 93 comments
  • Adrian
    Reply

    Who do you desire to be in 2014…
    I desire to be the “Me” I have always dreamed to be. Confident, content, and with little to no negative inner dialogue. Place a muzzle on the “inner mean girl” and let the real me shine through her darkness.

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Adrian – SOOOO seeing you love BEING YOU – that inner mean girl ready to move aside so you can shine – it is safe to shine. xoxo

  • Dori E.
    Reply

    Hi Christine! My daughter and I did this together. In 2014, she desires to feel proud of how much she accomplished. That really resonates with me as well, so I’m sharing that desire and adding in LOVE. I desire to feel loved. Thank you for sharing these questions with us! I love the idea of Dreaming Month 🙂 Happy 2014 to you and Noah! xo

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Hello Dori – you are such a beautiful mother – YES to you feeling loved – most of all by yourself and then allowing that love from others to permetate every cell of your soul. Love you Golden Woman! CHristine

  • Clare
    Reply

    Hi Christine and thank you. One thing I desire to do is at least one day a month is to get out of the city and spend a day in the countryside. This could be in a small town or village or maybe a pub lunch somewhere rural. Some me time and a chance to breath and revitalise .

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Clare – I am seeing you sitting in that village right now!! xoxo

  • Suzie
    Reply

    I desire to BE the best, most loving, spiritual, tenderhearted, happiest and caring wife to my new husband!!! (since working on ME last year, I found a wonderful man to share my life with!)
    Thanks to my tribe, and learning what to say no to last year, NOW I have a new tribe!!
    My quote, “to Love is Never wrong”
    blessings abound from my heart to yours!!!

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Suzie – i witness your desire to BE what you stated for YOURSELF first and then for your husband – for both. choosing me before We to make a better WE! xoxo

  • Carole
    Reply

    In 2014, I desire to feel more creative and less critical – to let go of the part of my mind that fixates on what’s ‘wrong’ and to nourish the part of me that sees life as a child does: full of love, adventure and wonder.

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Carole – i witness your desire to open up your mind to love and space and to release the need for the critical inner mean girl to protect you – yes to nourishment – bye bye fixating! xox Christine

  • Natasha
    Reply

    I desire to feel love and acceptance of every moment.

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Natasha – you are witnessed love in your desire to feel LOVE and acceptance and I encourage you to START with YOU loving and accpeting you xoxo

  • VivienneCygne
    Reply

    I desire to move to a new home, express my unique viewpoint and creativity there and have a best friend to love and be loved by and enjoy sharing hospitality with friends ( all of this being shared with my beloved hubby)!

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Vivienne – you are so witnessed in your opening your heart to LOVE – and I encourage you to start right now being a best friend to YOU and to writing your Friendship Manifesta (From last weeks love letter) xoxo

  • noelle
    Reply

    in 2014 i desire to FEEL more JOY and inner peace <3

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Noelle – such powerful desires! i encourage you to scan through yoru life this month and feel into what is NOT in alignement to that and make some promises to get those into alignment or release them xoxo

  • Lisa
    Reply

    I Desire to travel to Italy meet my sexy, passionate, loving, free and devoted to me Italian man Paolo and have an amazing trip full of Passion, Love, Laughter and yummy culinary delights and beautiful art!!

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Lisa – well i am feeling the fire of the desire – may 2014 be full of love for you xoxo

  • Cyn
    Reply

    In 2014 I want to dig out all of the destructive secrets I’ve kept hidden all my life and find that precious little girl that learned to hide her feelings. I desire to be her mother bear, protect her sensitivity and heal the deep pain that is paralyzing her now.

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Cyn- witnessing your stand to be the mother to your little self that needs that – SUCH powerful beautiful sacred self love work for us all. may you and she be blessed with the divine mothers love. xo

  • Cindy
    Reply

    I desire to travel to London in 2014 and take a cruise.

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Cindy – LOVE seeing your desire here and I encourage you to fill the desire in with even more feeling and color – FEEL yourself there and the big why it matters to your heart. xoxo

  • Allie
    Reply

    I desire to be ME, confident & content without having to TRY. I desire to feel from my heart and feel that that is enough.

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Allie – A BIG yes to being YOU – content and ENOuGH – here’s to a year of ENOUGHNESS! XOXO

  • Trelle
    Reply

    Repost: In 2014 I desire to have my feminine super powers super charged in such a way that I can fully,, lovingly, passionately, and wholly speak my truth in such a way that my visions of my divine life mission are manifested.
    Trelle

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Trelle – you are witnessed love in your power and surrender to the Divine Feminine force of love within you. xo

  • Jill
    Reply

    I desire to FEEL happiness and joy in 2014.

    I desire to BE debt-free and to be a voice for victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault in 2014.

    I desire to HAVE a relationship with my beloved that lights us both, inspires us both, supports us both, allows us both to give our best to the world and come back to the safe harbor that is our relationship.

    I desire to DO many things including: hiking in the NC mountains, ziplining, running the BAA 5K, visiting the beach, launching my new business,creating a garden, and graduating IMGRS.

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Jill — LOVE your FEELs, Be and Have and Dos — and YES to graduating Inner Mean Girl Reform School and YES to your voice being heard – you are so beauty-full xoxo

  • Susan Watson
    Reply

    I desire to get out of “the mind” and over-thinking to getting into just feeling and becoming a new me as I quieten the mind and allow myself to feel without judgment.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Susan – YES to quieting the mind so your heart and soul can get through to you xoxoxo

  • Claudia
    Reply

    I desire to FEEL whole and grateful for what I have.

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Claudia – AHH that is the secret to creating from enoughness, to feeling enough, to being enough — yes to FEELING that in 2014. xo

  • Mary
    Reply

    I want to go to Budapest in March 2014. I have been missing it since 2007!

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Mary – lets change ‘want’ to DESIRE – so you and the stars can align – and release the must be in March to the right timing and i think your heart will open to this – PLUS what is it about Budapest that you DESire to feel?? xoxo

  • Janice Devine-Patterson
    Reply

    I soooooo Desire to Feel Happy, Healthy, Abundant and Enough…Be Alive, Awake and Enthusiastic about my wonderful life….Do a trip to Italy with amazing women like YOU and Activating my Feminine SuperStar Powers …and Have New Hardwood Floors,Master Bathroom Re-modeled and lots of Fun Adventures traveling and backpacking with my beloved and daughter!!!

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Janice – so witnessing your do’and haves and I’d Love to be with you in Italy!!! stay tuned August 2014 i think xoxo

  • Mabelle O
    Reply

    I desire to FEEL “love”, “vulnerable”, “openness”

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Mabelle – YES to FEELING love, vulnerable and openness – what will you do each day to start your day from that place?? that’s the way to bring it in!! xoxo

  • Kim
    Reply

    4. Who do you desire to be?
    A person who works as a writer- professionally.

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Kim – and so it is.. may your desire take form in many ways this year. xoxo

  • Dr. Niama Williams
    Reply

    Christine, may I just say that I love you and all that you do??? I used to love the bold gawkiness of your videos because you were so willing to “just be you” in front of the camera and get your message out. Now you are classy and poised, but still earnest and forceful and FUN. I just love you and how you do what you do. Just me sending love!!!

    Who do I desire to be in 2014? Me amplified. I have hidden so long from the life work that God has designed for me, and thanks to a brilliant friend in Canada, I decided to grab God’s hand and LEAP into the work that fills my heart and soul.

    Just last night I thought a new good friend had left me alone with a deep dilemma and I decided all on my own to sacrifice if necessary for my dream, for this work. All on my lonesome I said, I will do without food if need be to bring this dream to fruition!!!!

    And today I received the message that my friend’s server blocked the email because of graphics, so I was never alone in the first place!!! But what I love? Is that I stayed true to my dream, and I KNEW that God would not let me starve.

    Living in the full awareness that God is everpresent, omnipresent, and all powerful is so LIBERATING.

    So I choose to be Me Amplified in 2014 and sacrifice all for the business that fills my soul. Because I know that God put the desire there and thus it is holy.

    Still loving you, Christine. Thank you for your presence in my life!!!

    Love and blessings,

    Dr. Ni

    PS: And one of the many gifts from God’s storehouse for me this year? My new friend is going to do a complete and total redesign of my website for me FOR FREE. Simply because she enjoys helping people and bringing people into financial freedom. See what I mean about living in God’s love being LIBERATING??? 🙂

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Love the word Amplified FEELS SUper in alignment with you and I so witness you saying YES to that — thank you for the reflection and the love receiving that. So glad to be connected with you. xoxoxo Christine

  • summer
    Reply

    I desire to have a loving, respectful relationship with a special someone where we inspire and call each other to be our free and best selves, in 2014.

    • carylo17
      Reply

      Summer – so witnessing your desire for this loving, respectful relationship — and I encourage you to start that with yourself now and EVERY person in your life – that is where it starts!! xoxo

  • Grateful M
    Reply

    That is a great desire for 2014 – to be ME.

    When each of us is who we really are – the whole world lights up with love. We can each then share our unique gifts with others.

    May we all enjoy this journey throughout 2014 of discovering the innate beauty and love within each of us as – as we truly are.

    • carylo17
      Reply

      M – Aho! to your desire to be YOU! xoxo

  • Melinda
    Reply

    In 2014, I desire to FEEL free, abundant, loved, happy, helpful, successful, sexy, healthy and full of clarity and wisdom.

    Thank you Christine for your post! This past week culminated in buckets of clarity for me about two primary goals for 2014 – feeling Free AND Abundant. (These occurring together are new to me!) I was excited when many ideas started brewing in my head, but worried when my spirit and body said “slow down, not so fast.” What if I were to lose the momentum? Well, if January is dreaming time, then I’m right on track. Thanks again for your input and support!!!

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Melinda love – your most welcome !! and yes slow down. dream. and LOVE the feelings. xo

  • Erin
    Reply

    First of all, thank you for the change in perspective! What you said in the video really resonated with me.
    This year: I desire to feel ‘just being in the present’. I’m always looking ahead worried that I’m not doing enough for my future, or looking behind worried that I haven’t done enough and that I’m ‘behind’ in some way. I’m always comparing myself to others who seemed to have accomplished so much more than I have ‘by my age’. That way of doing things really sucks away happiness. No more. I’m excited to approach things differently this year!
    Again, thank you! <3 e

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Erin – a big high five of love for saying NO to comparison and saying YES to being ENOUGH right now – and therefore saying YES to being happy right now! big love xoo

  • Billie
    Reply

    In 2014 I desire to have the courage to be my authentic self, and to love my authentic self exactly as I am.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Billie – a magnificent desire – knowing that you are SOOO enough just being who you truly are, I witness your desire to BE YOU! xox

  • Ksenia
    Reply

    In 2014 I desire to FEEL. Feel everything that comes up, feel ALL my feelings, accept and welcome them, instead of hiding from them in my overactive mind. I desire to FEEL enthusiastic and joyful!

    In 2014 I desire to BE creative and to BE a creator – of my life, my business, my relationships and my future.

    In 2014 I desire to HAVE amazing, warm and close relationships with myself and my daughter and other people around me, I desire to HAVE connection

    In 2014 I desire to explore and experiment freely, move into a new home and DO what my heart and soul want me to Do, not what I think I should do.

    Christine, THANK YOU for this practice and for everything you do, Winter Soltice Ritual was amazing and your book “Madly in Love with Me” really helped me through 2013!

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      So happy to be connected Ksenia and thank you for the love gratitudes!! So witnessing you love in your desires – may the love you are calling in seep deeply into your body so you can FEEL all that you have already all around you. xo

  • Chasity
    Reply

    I desire to be free from the toxic relationships that have gotten me down this year. I desire to listen to my heart. I desire to let go of what I can’t control and turn it over to HIM. I desire to let opportunities enter my life that will be fulfilling to myself, my family, and others around me.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      YOu are SO witnessed Chasity – to be FREE from things that DONT Support LOve to receive only things that do. xoox

  • Kendra
    Reply

    What I desire to DO: travel travel travel. I desire to take my children with me to celebrate David Wilcox’s music on retreat in May, a home exchange somewhere wonderful in the world in July, Italy with you in August and wherever the Universe sees fit to send me the rest of the year.

    What I desire to BE: Excited about my amazing life! A source of inspiration to my communities – small and large – in some way that I cannot see yet.

    What I desire to HAVE: I have two very strong desires. Both are equally strong: (1) A new career that fulfills me emotionally and financially. I would like to find a way to merge my love of mentoring with my human resources/staffing skills and massage therapy certification and skills – merging my desire to help people via my holistic healing and corporate experience. And that will result in an income that exceeds my current income exponentially.

    And (1) I desire to have an amazing, loving, respectful, sexually passionate and FUN relationship with my fully physically and emotionally available Beloved, who I will meet this year and who I will marry next year because he is THE BEST person on the planet for me and for my kids. I will not settle for anything but the best ever again.

    What I desire to FEEL in 2014: LOVED! By me first, and my Beloved. Joy-full! Peace-full!

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Kendra LOVE your passion and would LOVE to experience the love of Italy with YOU!!! ANd yes to your divine work, divine partnership and divine lifestyle. And one piece of wisdom to share, to give yourself permission to allow things to grow over time, esp in the area of your beloved. Less focus on marriage. More focus on FEELING the partnership first within you and then with them. Sending you so much love. xoxo

  • Celeste
    Reply

    Christine! Thank you for this wonderful inspiration! I desire to have a deeply connected and loving relationship with myself and with a beloved. I also desire to have new opportunities for employment that are collaborative, emotionally, intellectually and financially fulfilling and enable me to grow and learn as a soul.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Celeste – seeing and knowing your relationships, including the one with you will BLOSSOM this year, leading you to a live where you FEEL fulfilled xo

  • Abundantlee
    Reply

    In 2014 I desire to feel/know from the top of my head, to the tips of my toes and the core of my soul that I am truly, divinely, all-ways ENOUGH.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Can I get an AMEN and an AHO and a Yes Yes – YOU ARE ENOUGH, more than ENOUGH… and i am knowing this to come more into your being in 2014! xo

  • bb88
    Reply

    first I want to say THANK YOU! I needed to see this today SO bad! I am so fearful that once again all the desires I have for the new year will slip by the wayside as they do every other year. BUT after seeing the video I have renewed HOPE!!
    I desire to FEEL self love this year!! That for me is the biggest change I wish to see happen in 2014 for ME. I believe in my Spirit that this is what has held me back my entire life from achieving dreams and desires. I simply don’t believe I am worthy of it and I lack love for me and I fear the real me. I’m putting this out there for the first time in my life, I’m admitting it, I’m owning it. Thank you for witnessing it!

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      You are worthy – that is without a doubt true and i witness your DESIRE to know that and FEEL that too. and so it is! xox

  • claire
    Reply

    4. What do you desire to FEEL in 2014? (Choose three words that culminate how you want to feel – your heart and soul work on the feeling level)

    Happy
    Fulfilled
    Empowered

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Claire – toasting to your happiness, fulfillment and empowerment and how you FEEL that so in your body and heart — may it be so. xo

  • Kalmia
    Reply

    I desire to have fun with my “tribe” and I am relating to Cyn, Trelle
    Noelle and Claudia as far as my desires and I also find myself very attracted to the travelers as well, so I desire more courage to explore and feel safe !

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Kalmia – YES! to your tribe and lots of fun at home and in your travels knowing YOU are safe. xoxo

  • Kristen
    Reply

    My stomach did a little excited flip when I read “What do you desire to feel in 2014.” I have often been too much in my brain and the thinking, rational part of me rules the roost. I have been off work a little over a year. Recovering from an emotional crash and have slowly reconnected with my creative, intuitive self—and FEEL again. So for 2014 I desire to feel …..period. I desire to continue to FEEL— connecting to my rational intuition, my Inner Wisdom, my body through exercise and dance, my purpose, the energy of the Universe. All of it! LOL I desire to continue to feel and let those feelings guide my actions. The brain (and IMG deserve a holiday this year!)

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Kristen – YES YES YES to feeling – may those feelings race through your veins making you feel alive, pulsating with the desires of your heart and soul. xox

  • Jill
    Reply

    In 2014, I desire to be more present, more easygoing, more calm, more at peace, more forgiving, and more loving–with myself and then with everyone else in my life.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Jill – i can feel the spirit and divine in your desire. yes to that for you and the world. beauty-full xxo

  • Nancy
    Reply

    I desire to HAVE the perfect job that allows me to use my passion and talent in a company that aligns with my values and makes a positive contribution in the world!

    Thanks for all that you do Christine to bring more love into the world!

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Nancy – i can feel your passion and heart through your post – yes! to that heart leading your to the job your heart and soul desire. so glad to be connected. xoox

  • Mindy kittay
    Reply

    In 2014 I desire to have a job where I can use my skills and passion. A job where I am appreciated and I feel that I am a part of a team working together to create a better world.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Mindy – aho! may your gifts find their right employment – xoxo

  • Jenean
    Reply

    I desire to connect. With myself, Spirit, my husband, my family, clients, friends, others I haven’t met yet. I desire to connect deep and throw my love net wide. To open my heart and soul in ways I have yet to know.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Jenean – witinessing your love net casting WIDE!!! and lots of love coming in. xoxo

  • Élisa
    Reply

    I desire to feel compassion, for every single being I meet, including ME. Compassion for people who overreact, cause they in fact are hurt, compassion for those who annoy me, instead of rejecting them as inconvenient buggers, compassion for myself, cause if I am annoyed, it means that a part of me needs healing, and compassion for all that are in dire straits, because their mind has taken over.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Elisa – i honor your committment to compassion! Sounds like it might be the year of compassion for you. … so powerful and beautiful! xoxo

  • Mindy
    Reply

    I also desire to have love!
    Love of myself, the love of my soul mate and love for those that I deal with on a daily basis.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Mindy – witnessing your powerful desire and stand for lOVE in 2014. may you be wealthy in love this year and every year forward. xo

  • nadette
    Reply

    my wish is to allow myself to be myself without thinking it’s necessary to ‘explain’ who i am, since i appear disabled but am not…all too often people (strangers!) come up to me *just* to get some technical, heartless “definition” like i’m not even there as a person, let alone an individual with a mind and feelings. i will try to recognize it as their issue and not feel so ‘responsible’ for that…say “i am a ‘who’, not a ‘what'”. only equal relationships in 2014!!! without an equal exchange of personal info, it’s just not right

  • Alex
    Reply

    Thank you Christine for helping me fall madly in love with ME. In 2014, I desire to be the self-empowered woman I know I can be. I plan on letting my heart lead the way in this new year and live my dreams into reality!

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Alex- heard! and YES YES to your heart leading the way!! xxo

  • MK
    Reply

    Late to the party…
    I desire to feel joy, passion and love in 2014!

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      to feeling JOY PASSION and LOVE — heard! and not late, right on time! xoox

  • Tina
    Reply

    I desire to write and record my music in 2014. I desire to finally start my own website. I desire to be heard.

  • Nadene
    Reply

    I DESIRE to have & feel love for myself and possibly from another in 2014!!

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      How about this Nadene — I DESIRE to have and feel love for myself and from others in 2014 — don’t need to just have one, and as yoda says either do or do not young jedi — open your heart to love to many and take the pressure off of the ‘one’. xoxo

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