Sustain Don’t Drain Yourself… a self care practice to transform the things that drain you

 In Self Care, Self Empowerment

Yes, you want to take care of yourself. Yes, you want your life to feel in balance, in harmony. You want to feel vital, strong, and cared for. You know self care is good. Yet there are many things that can come into your ‘field’ (your body, mind, emotions, relationships, life) that drain your resources (time, energy, money, peace, life force)… and you simply can’t afford to have these things depleting you.

Self care is making sure that YOU receive what you need. Self care requires you never serve from your reserves. Which means you need to SUSTAIN not DRAIN your energy.

How? Well watch this self love spark I taped for YOUR HEART, to slow down, and take a look at your ‘field’ to see what is draining you. Be honest. Your life force depends on it.

I taped this video for you on the equinox, which is all about balance. It literally is the mid point between the solstices, and it’s a time to take stock of the field you’ve planted (think agriculture and growing crops which is a metaphor for the field and crop of your life each year.) And as you take stock of your personal field, your life, this is the time to choose to harvest what will sustain you over the winter and choose to compost that which is draining or no longer nurturing.

So, as you watch this video, really tune into yourself and honestly answer these two questions…

WHAT IN MY LIFE DRAINS ME?
WHAT IN MY LIFE SUSTAINS ME?

This could be relationships, jobs, situations, ways you work, finances, anything really. Don’t hold back. Be honest with yourself. Even if that means admitting your job, your kids, your whatever are draining you. Because once you can be honest about the drain, you can see the ways in which you can transform the drain into something that sustains you or at the very least stops draining you. And here’s the other thing to note – something that once sustained you could now drain you, and it’s up to you to see when that balance shifts, and then love yourself enough to respond to new circumstances and make the shifts inside of yourself and your life to create a most sustainable life.

Empower yourself to take care of yourself, right here on the self love blog, with these three steps …

ONE – “What currently drains me is… ” (admit and name one, be specific so you can see the drain)

TWO – “It also sustains me by...” (there’s some way it does give to you, and you want to keep this because  it’s supportive)

THREE – And then make your self care claim…

I CHOOSE TO SUSTAIN MYSELF NOT DRAIN MYSELF! 

 and then I will witness you!

Here I will go first.

“One…What currently drains me is having to figure out where Noah and I are going to be living, where home will be, because of our spiritual gypsy lifestyle. It drains me because I have to keep reorienting my energy to the new space,  to other people’s space, so I never feel quite settled in myself. Two… It also sustains me by allowing me to travel to be wherever spirit guides me, or wherever I want to be, because I don’t have a mortgage or home or pets to take care of. Three… I CHOOSE TO SUSTAIN MYSELF NOT DRAIN MYSELF!”

 

So love… what is ready to shift for you ? What stand will you take to SUSTAIN not DRAIN yourself.  Write it here on the self love blog, your stand for self care… what drains me… what sustains me…

 

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Showing 78 comments
  • Donna
    Reply

    What is draining me is trying to be the middle person in our blended family. My husband wants us all together for “family” time. Our children are very different. My girls don’t really want/need that and don’t especially enjoy it…I spend time trying to be all things to all parties…hate it/dread the events/feel guilty because it seems I should want this. What sustains me is the loving relationship I have with my husband and my daughters….I need to find a balance as we head into holiday time

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Donna as you just tell the truth about what drains you, i am seeing the field around you show you the way to solutions that sustain you and your kids and your husband. keep leaning into the LOVE you have with them and the way will appear. thank you for sharing and for daring to release the drain. awesome self care! xoxo

  • Sharon
    Reply

    I feel drained by my daughter, my son and my boyfriend whom i just broke up with.
    trying to be the person to make sure that they are all happy is very draining and i wasn’t taking care of myself. i have sold my home and with the kids gone on their own and the boyfriend gone i am looking forward to looking after me and only me for awhile. i deserve to be good to myself.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Yes indeed Sharon you are worth taking GREAT care of!!! xoxo

  • Lukcy
    Reply

    What’s draining me is living in other people’s space, and feeling that it’s time to move on but not sure where to go. Not having a clear direction is also draining me, and also someone wanting a relationship with me and me not feeling the same. They also sustain be because they’ve shared a place with me and I have had my own little room, the person that wants the relationship has been very supporting and trying to help as best they can, and not having the clearest direction has kept me ‘safe’, which I needed for a little while, and am now ready to leap out of.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      LUcky hearing loud and clear that its time to LEAP! seeing you leap with grace and ease. xo

  • Lashpal
    Reply

    What is draining me at this time is my bad atmosphere poor home environment, not moving in my career and no love in life with husband leaving back to my country, what sustaining me is home giving me shelter to live in new country, present career giving hope that I will do it anyway and husband giving me money . so I have to make balance in it.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Lashpal – keep being present and keep choosing what sustains you not drains you. xo

  • maria starr
    Reply

    what is draining me is my relationship with my guy… he pulls on my energy a lot when we are together wanting my attention at times when I need to be quiet and internal. going on trip with him and need to clear this issue,, what sustains me is his love and support and knowing I can depend on him no matter what.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Maria – here is to you setting boundaries in love – not being the give all but instead to be whole inside yourself and asking your man to do the same. only more love is possible when you each find more self love. xo

  • Angela
    Reply

    What drains me is that I have accumulated far too much “stuff” over the years. I don’t need all of this and it is clogging up my physical space and my mental space. I need to organise this excess and simplify my life. Yet by not doing this clean-up I am sustained to feel free to take long nature walks, to observe life around me and not having the pressure that I should be doing something else. The balance would be to allocate say 1/2 to 1 hour per day towards the clean-up and still do my nature walks.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Yes to the balanced equation Angela – do that and enjoy the increased sustainablity!! xox

  • Sandra
    Reply

    What is draining me is this conflict i have with food which at times fees like an internal battle. Eating when depressed, to push down feelings, when I’m upset and angry, etc. It makes me feel worse. Not actually tasting the food or chewing it but piling it in. What sustains me is knowing that I do not have to choose to Live To Eat. That there is the choice to eat foods I find succulent,nourishing,filling and that I can make these dishes myself. The option to opt out of junk food and to eat what my body craves for is what sustains me-that’s it within my reach.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Yes Sandra to nourishing your body with what it needs, and in that one act of love, knowing you wont have to stuff it with what it doesnt. You will feel sustained. Keep feeling. xoxo

  • mariposa
    Reply

    my divorce is draining me!
    i cant escape from it

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Mariposa – no you cant escape from it, but you can detach and unattach from the outcome, from the blame, from the other person’s situation and emotions. its the only way to stop the drain. not easy but possible. as don miguel ruiz says, dont take it personal (again not easy, i know) … and i invite you to use this experience as a way to heal your own love cracks, to find evidence of more love, and to choose to know deeply what your heart and soul desire and then to promise to never settle for less. here with you. xoxo

  • karen
    Reply

    What is draining me is man has been texting me for months now but making no arrangements to actually see me/date me, make me his girlfriend. It sustains me too by having male attention, feeling ‘wanted’. Communication. Feeling like a woman. Excitement I choose to sustain myself not drain myself.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Karen – here is to you not being sustained in receiving love from someone else, but knowing and feeling you are loved because of your own ability to source that love. dont give you love power – your capacity to feel loved – to anyone else. way too draining! xox

  • karen
    Reply

    Draining me also is worry about money. Especially the future when will need a job. And at the moment don’t feel well enough or confident enough. It drains me just thinking about it all the time. It sustains me because it makes me try to do things to better myself eg.courses,

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      money and love – so connected karen — check out the book money love from kate northrup – simple practical and true — and remember YOU ARE CARED FOR, LOVED and SEEN. xo

  • Pat
    Reply

    What’s draining me is a move out of California to a house I inherited in the Ozarks. I moved here to renovate it for 2 years, so I can sell it and move to Northern Arizona. The reno is exhausting, and I’m 66 yrs old. I’m away from all family/friends. But… it also sustains me because I’m retired and was given a house with no mortgage!

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Pat – heard. I invite you in to the ? how can you have both – the community and the home … feels like you are completing a time with the house that may make you more free — ask for what you need to be sustained, physically and emotionally and spiritually and let the divine show you the form. And check out airbnb.com! xoxo

  • DD
    Reply

    What has been draining me a lot is financial worry. I had some issues with my business that kept me from giving a total effort and my finances have been a little shaky for a few months because of that. I see the light at the end of the tunnel, and there is money coming to me shortly, but there have been many moments of not knowing where the funds were coming to pay a bill or put gas in my car. What has sustained me through this has been a divine presence that has put resources in the right place at the right time and being able to honestly discuss this with the man in my life. He has given me some assistance as well and had not been judgemental towards me which has drawn our relationship closer as I can speak freely without feeling shame or like a failure. I am grateful for how this has happened but I am ready to release the worry in the future.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      DD – when love steps in to over come $$ worries i think we experience one of the most beautiful truths of the universe – love wealth trumps $ wealth every time. here is to you feeling taken care of and being taken care of because you have so much access to love, knowing the $ just follows that. xoxo

  • L2
    Reply

    I feel the drain of setting goals especially so close together. I just came off a 100 mile hike around Mont Blanc in Europe and prior to that 8 days of hiking in Slovenia. I now have a 1/2 marathon in Cuba in less than 2 months. My knees are saying ouch but my mind says train, train! These goals sustain me and drain me! I love the traveling along with the physical challenges but I am ready to rebalance, slow down and ohmmmmmm! I am heading for the ripe young age of 74!

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      L2 – i hear the cry of your soul to rebalance, slow down and ohmmmmmm!! and ask you to give yourself permission to really sink into to your inner wisdom to see if this next physical feat is sustaining or draining, or in what way it can be sustaining, and then no matter what choosing the self sustaining route. your body holds the wisdom. your mind the fear. chooose love, for yourself. xoxoxo

  • Lindamarie
    Reply

    What drains me is my work as a nurse practitioner, seeing patients every 15-20 minutes 36 hours per week. By the end of the day, I don’t have much to give and I get tired of playing beat the clock. What sustains me is the salary I earn, the energy and fun of the students (I work in college health), the relationships with most of my colleagues – one drains me but others sustain me. Also sustains me when I really feel I have made a deep contact – what drains is seeing students with upper respiratory infections that really can only get better with time.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Lindamarie love you are in one of those professions that just wreaks of over giving – so much to give so much people need and i am here love as a stand for your self love to every day ask you to ask YOURSELF what YOU need to RECEIVE – to check in to your energy tank (see chapter on self care in Madly in Love with ME) and to make sure you continue to fill your chalice. you simply cant afford to not fill yourself up in your line of work. it’s part of it. and i also reflect to you the pressure of the system that doesnt work and hold for you to ask your Inner WIsdom how you can best work in the system or be a change within it! keep bringing your love and also giving love to yourself. love to you dear heart xoox

  • Barb
    Reply

    What drains me is wanting to do everything at once and talking on too much because I have a vision for what things should look like amid I want the best outcomes possible. What sustains me is knowing I am pursuing my passion and making things better for all kids in schools and classrooms. I choose to sustain not drain myself. I will take on less and trust in the process. Thanks, Christine, I needed this reminder.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Barb my sister!! I too suffer from the want to do it all now syndrome 🙂 and i witness you in taking a stand to sustain not drain yourself — lean into the divine to ask for divine timing and remember that if you dont have the resources its not time. keep listening and remembering this is life long work – good thing you’ll always be employed!!! burn slowly not burn yourself out! xo

  • gailen
    Reply

    It feels like everything is draining me: I am in a marriage I very much want to end. I am home schooling two very active son’s, because I could not get them into a decent school, I feel over burdened by this house.Noone cleans up or helps out. I feel isolated and sad 95% of time. My sleep is disturbed, my hormones are shifting and I hate that the summer is over.This house is draining the life out of me.My husband, my children, all draining the life out of me, being a maid, a teacher, no money is draining, and I have no dreams anymore. For a long time I was/ a painter and a writer ,both of those things nowdrain me.When I imagine selling everything in this house , I feel relieved. When I imagine, leaving my kids at a school, I feel energized< Being just mother and wife feels like a prison sentence.I have no time for myself, feel isolated and ugly and brittle. The best parts of me feel dead and I feel like a spinning top.All I want to do is cry.I really wanted to try coaching, I can't afford it.Poor is draining me. I wanted to try acupuncture and herbs, I can't afford it, that is draining me and while money may not be spiritual, not having even enough to buy groceries and the over whelming knowledge that I have at least 15 more years to raise my sons and I am 51 is draining .me.I am very talented, and blessed with a lot of gifts, but for as long as I have been a live They have not added up to any money and money is key right now to feeling secure and safe.My children bring me great joy, but I need down time and they ability to work on myself and help to find what is right about me.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Gailen – witnessing you love at the drain of the drain and your reach up and out for something to come into to fill you up – the first step is choosing yourself even in the midst of all that is around you – even in the midst of the feeling of not having enough – if you are really ready to make a shift, email my team at love@chooseselflove.com and lets see if we can get you some personal support. you lean in and stop making time or money an excuse and be open to receiving support and the universe will respond. love to you sweet one. xo

  • Anne
    Reply

    What drains me is also a blended family situation – that of my step-daughter and her two yr old continuing to live with us. The situation mostly exhausts me (toddlers are tiring, for one) and frustrates me because I had hoped to spend the last years of my teenagers lives at home concentrating on them. I hope by concentrating on the positives (I love them both and am glad they’re not out in the street or some other equally untenable situation; toddlers are cute lil humans even at 4:30am) I can make the best of the situation. It’s already forced me to concentrate more on my own health after ignoring it for too long. Deep breaths. Thank you for your always encouraging posts.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Anne – yes yes to making sure you get what you need to receive while also opening up your home and heart to these little beings. And giving yourself permission to putting in boundaries and agreements that allow you to give and receive. BOTH! you most welcome btw on the posts – thank you love for giving me the opportunity to send you love xoxo

  • Linnea
    Reply

    What drains me is my financial situation. I am not making enough to get by. I am looking for a job, but I left a well paying job beacuse it was so out of alignment with myself, and then my divorce happened. I am also drained by the fact that the (new)love of my life isn’t ready to move in with me yet, so we have two houses to keep up with.(We have both separated from long relationships a year ago) What sustains me is the support I recieve when it comes to job hunting, and the love my boyfriend and I share.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Linnea– keep leaning into that love and the support and in these lean $ times know that there are lessons and blessings for you to receive to feel just how cared for you are. Seeing you open your heart to receiving right work, right time, right pay. sustained. xoxo

  • Ann Marie Emmanuel
    Reply

    Donna, this is my second equinox email from you and I thank you for having me on your blog. It’s amazing how you perfectly describes what I’ve been feeling over the past 2 years. I too have been like a “gypsy” between New Jersey, Florida and Trinidad…constantly trying to figure where my personal items are… “I know I rest it down somewhere! Was it NJ? FL? T’dad? You see I’m preparing to move to Trinidad to live a more sustainable life. I’m selling my home in NJ and I’m using FL as my home base while I do the work I want to do in T’dad…. Hence the going back and forth!
    What is draining me is having to downsize my life and purge all the “stuff” that I held so dear to me with sentiment, especially the heirloom things passed down from my Mom… Also, knowing that there’ll be such distance between me and my children/grand-children. What sustains me is having the freedom of choice to live my life with purpose and to be involved in conscious leadership initiates in my birth country of Trinidad. I sustain myself through the possibility of leadership, empowerment and inspiration!

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Hi Ann Marie – its Christine here… just so we know each other on a first name basis 🙂 WItnessing you love releasing your ATTACHMENT to what the physical things mean and knowing that the feelings and memories you have inside as you make this transition will sustain you more than any physical thing can. enjoy the adventure spiritual gypsy sister! xo

  • Ana
    Reply

    Christine,thank you so much for your wonderful MAGICAL energy !!! what is draining me right now is trying so hard to bring hope, peace and joy to the journeys of the two people that i love the most my son who has mental problems and my partner that is waiting for the results of a biopsy-pap smear and the fear of all of it !!! what sustain me is that when i go into the fear of all of it i affirm to my self, I choose trust in the DIVINE ORDER instead of fear and i feel better and all the lessons i am learning about me.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Ana — witnessing your choice for LOVE and PRESENCE even in the midst of so many unknowns and challenges – that alone is a HUGE shift in being able to maintain and sustain vs drain. you are at choice, you know that and i honor your ability to stand in your presence so that your chalice may be filled by the divine as you walk through these initiations with your partner, yourself and your child. xo

  • Emilia
    Reply

    What drains me is the worry over other people’s acceptance, namely with my endeavors in trying to make my journey work – Drops of Divinity – more relevant on social media. Throughout my life, the desire to be genuine & authentic is real, though I often allow fear to creep in & stifle that desire. I’ve long lived being an abbreviated version of myself & excel at being a chameleon.
    What sustains me is the authentic energy I put into Drops of Divinity & the message I am sharing, my #1 cheerleader’s support – my mum :^} (Being a chameleon can be fun as I experience all different kinds of people & situation…I’ve been privy to so much learning, which I love.)
    I desire greater strength & confidence that the DoD work/journey will become a bigger entity/career, that living into the Love that it offers is the most genuine thing I can do. While I want it to be of value & for it to help others, it has been helping me to celebrate the Divine in so many ways, and allowing me freedom to express myself. By focusing on that aspect, I can create more abundant grace & Love within myself, which also results in greater bliss!

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Emilia – witnessing your stand to do what sustains you not drains you – regardless of what anyone else says or reflects – because YOU know inside you are enough and what you do matters. xo

  • Meg
    Reply

    What currently drains me is the search for a loving, respectful, healthy romantic relationship. I ended a toxic relationship 2 years ago, and I know my spirit is healthier for it. However the endless dating roller coaster rides are leaving me feeling drained and hopeless of finding someone to build a life together. I’m an independent woman who has a wonderful life on my own but I want to share it with someone who is ready to begin a serious relationship leading to marriage. I keep attracting men into my life that are emotionally unavailable and it’s draining me. What sustains me is knowing I must be positive in believing there is life-giving love for me, and I have so much love to give. I just have to keep believing even on dark days.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Meg – witnessing the loneliness in you being the drain and the sustaining part being you are soooooo loved already. i have noticed that we all desire something we dont have – be it a home, child, mate, etc. and if we focus on it not being there vs focusing the forms in which it is we create drain. i wish for you not to settle and to also see in all the ways you have the things partnership and a mate can give you. its not easy i get that, and i know and feel that YOU ARE WEALTHY in love – keep feeling into that! and let it fill you up. xox

  • Emilia
    Reply

    And how could I have forgotten?! LOL…geesh 😉
    I choose to SUSTAIN myself not drain myself!! <3

  • Robin
    Reply

    After making my list it is clear to see that I find several relationships consistently draining, and a weekly women’s group incredibly sustaining. I am now choosing to spend less time with people I find draining and actually schedule my women’s group meeting to be sure I make the time to attend. Thanks so much for putting this out here when I needed it most.
    So appreciate your sharing your own experience and your good energy.
    Thank you,
    Robin

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Robin – love your stand for your self sustainability and for being honest about the connections that drain you and that sustain you. seeing this circle energizing you and more space and life force coming to you as a result of you choosing ME before WE 🙂 xox

  • TerriMarie
    Reply

    One: what drains me is the excruciatingly slow process of settling into our new home – putting my things on the walls and setting up my altars and adding my personal touches – because I don’t have the time to spend on it and the remainder of my belongings haven’t arrived yet. Two: this also sustains me because the loving process of making a brand new house “OURS” is not something I should rush…I will listen to my heart prayerfully about each item I place and sanctify the house as I decorate it. Three:I choose to sustain myself not drain myself!

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      TerriMarie – YES YES YES to enjoying the process and allowing that harmony creating to sustain you vs. rushing to ‘finish’ …. knowing it will all come into completion in divine time and that you can just be in JOY as each item shows you where it wants to live. xoxo

  • Susan
    Reply

    My husband’s negative attitude towards just about everything is draining me. My love for him and hopes of him shedding his burdens sustain me. I CHOOSE TO SUSTAIN MYSELF NOT DRAIN MYSELF.1

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Susan – witness the pull of someone so close draining your + energy. And giving you full permission to release him and his happiness to the divine. Trusting that will lead to the best and highest for both of you, letting go of attachment to him finding his happiness. Not easy but sometimes the only way they can. Love you. xoxo

  • Jen
    Reply

    What drains me is the time I spend online, often overwhelming me with information and also at the expense of prepping for the next day or getting to bed on time. What sustains me is the incredible thoughts and ideas that I can glean from it and that I use in my work. I choose to sustain myself and not drain myself by setting up much stricter boundaries about when I walk away from the computer and being more selective about what I read/listen to, since there aren’t 45 hours in a day!!!

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Jen – amen there are not 45 hours in a day! And here is to you choosing to do less in one day knowing that you will accomplish and impact more. And less to looking out THERE and more to following whats moving within. Yes to setting up a closing time for you and your temple! xoxo

  • Rachael
    Reply

    What currently drains me is taking care of my young children (aged 2 & 4). It also sustains me by allowing me to experience (give and receive) so much unconditional love. I CHOOSE TO SUSTAIN MYSELF, NOT DRAIN MYSELF!

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Aho Rachael – thank you for sharing the truth and paradox of being a parent. and may your chalice be MORE filled than drained. xoxo

  • Linda
    Reply

    I KNOW what drains me…living with 2 adult sons with health and emotional issues…not contributing to the family…a spouse I’ve been a caregiver for 8 years…no one works but me. I am at the edge of just screaming and running away…but what sustains me is being needed.
    I KNOW this. I wait for the right moment, there is not one. I must be brave and give myself this freedom and peace…so I can continue my creative life somehow… I WILL.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Linda -witness you love in the pressure. it can be so much. and i invite you to just set the burden down for 20 minutes each week by quitting your job as manager of the universe and care giver of all – just quit it even if you only tell yourself – set it down. And every morning i also invite you to surrender the burden to the divine, let it take it so you don’t have to. And little by little – bring your giving and receiving equation into balance by letting these men do for themselves. let the space be there even if they fall. you are worth taking good care of love, remmeber that. xoxox

  • Rita Durant
    Reply

    I loved how you opened your hands to the receiving gesture to catch the beams of light. What drains me is my self-talk at 4 a.m. about how I will need to teach my college classes; more to the point, what drains me is the clutch inside when I think i need to plan ahead to make up for any not-enoughness I still have lodged inside.

    Sustainability: I love the planning part. Hmmm…. Love the exercise. Maybe I can make times to plan during the day and find another 4 a.m. activity, like watching my breath.

    And that not-enoughness, keep practicing self-love. Thanks for lighting the way. Namaste

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Rita love – so glad to have the light shine on me through me to remind you of the light in you – and yes take that light into your 4am talks – 4am is divine time, the time for divine communinion not planning – receiving love and wisdom. Planning comes later 🙂 which i know and hear you stating. loving you to love yourself to give yourself peace full receiving mornings in communion with the divine. xoxo

  • Jan
    Reply

    1. What drains me is I’ve ended up feeling as if I’m trying to walk against the current of a very fast moving river to take possession of a package I bought, that I just feel in my gut and my heart contains the wisdom and instructions I’ll need to re-join the world of the living, vs. existing, to create a life I’m happy in building, and that can sustain me, in more than just a paycheck.
    The feeling is that one from Junior High, where people made sure to let you know you were NOT welcome, or invited, to something that you had a right to be at, and really wanted to go to. However, as you knew that they didn’t want you there, then you knew you’d never go to a spot or an event where you’d clearly be able to feel the disdain and contempt that rose up and covered you like a fine mist, ensuring you knew you were not wanted there.
    2. It also sustains me as I know that the issue of actually receiving the entire package is the only downside to this package! The women that are in it are just mind blowing fantastic. Wicked smart, wise, funny, no holds barred, no bullshit, happy in being able to live their very own, individual, authentic lives. And I only know that from very small bits I’ve seen or heard from some of them on youtube lol. I haven’t even had the chance to start the package!

    PLUS! What sustains me are the love letters, love videos and love notes I receive from you, Christine. They have since I first found you or was introduced to you, I’m not sure how we “met” lol. I’m betting there are hundreds if not thousands of women that feel the same as I do. Hell, I haven’t even gotten to the point to where I can work on building my self love tree and all of its’ limbs, but it sustains me to know what I look forward to doing!! Thank you for this wonderful birthday love note of inspiration fulled with the Divine Sparks.

    On a sort of related? note. I read about the great and then not as great challenges you’re experiencing in being a gypsy. I would be surprised if you do not already do this, but, I just wanted to say that as you wander in this world of ours, make sure you’re standing, with bare tootsies, in grass, or dirt, or a river of the ocean, on the outside ground(not indoors, concrete etc.) when you ground and center yourself each day. I know sometimes time and convenience (and weather) make it easier to do this in our indoor living spaces but when your home IS in your heart, you want to make sure you ground as well as can be had with Mother Earth and this universe. It may help in that feeling you spoke of? There’s nothing better than a great, Ground, Center and Shield to give you a feeling of solid home and hearth no matter where you are, right!? 🙂

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Jan love — seeing your HEART open to receive all that is in this package and more –breathing to receive it as fast as the slowest part of you can go! And so happy my love letters have found you. And yes, i do often put my feet in the ground – including today – and always appreciate the reminder. much love to you sweet one. xoxo

  • pauline
    Reply

    I will start here with my job it is draining me, way to many hours of sitting there is nothing gratifying about this job or fun or filling to myself or my soul. It is sustaining me financially because I am single, divorced and no one around to fall back on so I stick with it. Myself is draining me, because I can’t figure out how to make changes or be happy. I have taken the self love course and I have come a million miles and have learned to be alone and fulfill myself but know I am at the point where I want to find my soul group and really need that but can’t seem to reach it so I drain myself.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Pauline -first love, acknowledging you and asking to you to acknowledge yourself as a way to add to that sustainability – seeing how far you have come will fill your chalice SOOO much. And i witness your PROMISE, did you make it?? to have situations and relationships that love and respect you and lots of them? make it, take it and keep it and keep seeing evidence it is so. xoxo

  • Laura
    Reply

    What currently drains me is feeling worried or paralized as time goes by and not knowing where exactly focus my career, since I left my old job, a family business, a hard decision to make. I felt a big release first, then I began to take care of myself. I felt so much joy and harmony. but now all the pressure i put aside is coming back, I think that i m assimilating now what i did left behind, not only the business but also an old style of life, so a part of me wants to take me back there to correspond my family but i m not the same person and the other part wants me to be patient and keep preparing each day and not taking quick decisions, so i feel bit stuck in the middle.. there is an internal conflict draining my energy. This situation sustains me because its an important transition between the old and the new to come, an opportunity to start over, to be creative, but i dont feel the joy i used to have and i m moving very slow and i wouldn’t like to miss another train.. Thank you!!

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Laura witnessing your desire need and deserving to just claim the SPACE — its okay to be in the inbetween — knowing that in that place you will find all the sustaining you need and the un determined reveals to you! xoxo

  • Jill
    Reply

    I feel the drain of being a caregiver for my teenage daughter who has a lifelong illness. As a single parent without support or a significant other I feel drained by having to do it all. I am finding it hard to care for myself and don’t have the financial resources to do the good self care activities I used to do like massage, acupuncture and exercise.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Jill love, first just a big love hug — as a single mom its hard enough, add on special needs for your dear child and the pressure mounts, and I know after working with other moms like yourself that self care isn’t optional its mandatory. I dare you from a place of love to find three things that will fill you up that don’t cost any money, simple but mighty is my motto, and then committ to getting the support you need to give them to yourself Start where you are with the small things, instead of trying to recreate what you had. You can’t wait til your daughter grows up to keep yourself well cared for. We are here with you! xoxo

  • Linda
    Reply

    My marriage. It’s such a strange and uncomfortable situation for me, it just wears me out. It does sustain me financially however.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Linda thank you for your courage to share this and admit this to yourself and a great and powerful thing to look at as you go into the end of this year – most of us stay in marriages that drain us because the numbers look better on paper, unless of course you married Donald Trump and didn’t have a pre-nup. The question to ask yourself is what is this marriage costing you and is that cost draining and bankrupting your life force. and if yes, what loving actions for yoruself are called for. you are not alone. xox

  • Elisa
    Reply

    What’s draining me is… fear.

    I am pushing myself way too hard to get things done about my new activity (personnal development coach and reiki teacher)… because I am AFRAID of… lacking money… and lacking my own appraisal.
    This is crazy ! My appraisal is mine to give, all the time ! I just can give it to myself no matter what, and I would’nt have to fear my own punishment. Why is it so hard ? Why does it have to be so hard ?

    What’s sustaining me is TRUST. Every time I’m in a trusting mood, things go easy. I do plenty without making effort. Things get done dawn well without rushing, without pushing, without suffering.
    It’s the trust… in myself, in life, in all the people that care for me.

    I can’t figure out how I get out of balance and shift from trust to fear. How can I let this happen ?

    I’ll do my best to not let this happen any more.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Elisa just being aware is the first step… then start asking yourself, every day, what would ENOUGH be ? and just do that. practice allowing instead of pushing. its the practice and you are doing great!!! xoxo

  • mariposa
    Reply

    thank you love! heal my cracks!! yes!

  • Isabella
    Reply

    What currently drains me is that I am being stalked. They stalk me with cars. Because of this I have felt a lot of fear, fear just when I see a car, feelings of danger, feeling that I cannot trust, sleepless nights, that I have to be careful whenever I go out and that I do not want to go out whatsoever. I’ve been through many difficulties this year so the last thing I need is to feel that I am held back. I feel betrayed and disappointed that people act this way. I feel like this/these people do not respect me or my personal space. I feel extremely vulnerable and naked. Robbed of my freedom. I feel that I have no power to do anything about it. I cannot go out and do what I really wish to do and it makes me very angry. I have not called the police because I have been told that I do not have solid proof. With other words, I have not been encouraged to call the police, but instead to just try and still live my life normally. I do know that the person telling me this means well, but I am still drained. There’s no inner peace. I do not feel safe in my own home town and that IS a big problem. What sustains me is knowing that things do get better, and hopefully my experience can help someone reading this who is going through the same thing to know that they are not alone.

    Thank you for your beautiful blog.
    Isabella

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Isabella may LOVE find you in every day and in every way to lead you to the safety you need to feel to know you are truly taken care of and to show you how to REcEIVE THE SUPPORT you need – no one can do it alone… i invite you to ask for divine love to show you the path of love to finding the people who can and will support you. they are there, just open up and ask for support to find them. xoxo

  • Isabella
    Reply

    Dear Christine,

    My heart is warm. I appreciate every word. I accept the invitation and I will ask for divine LOVE to show me the path… I thank you so much! I wish you joy in everything you do.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Isabella – thank you love!! received and so glad you received eh love. YES YES to letting LOVE lead the ways xoxxo

  • serena
    Reply

    What drains me is working in a dept that seems very disorganized and also the time it takes me to prepare for teaching which is time away from other tasks I am under pressure to complete. What sustains me is the paycheck… it’s paying my rent… and I have a non-draining group of students. honestly would like to quit, but can’t. how can I turn this around so that there is more sustain and less drain? 🙂

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Serena love – here’s a love dare… make a list of all the things that drain you about teaching and all the things that sustain you – a complete list – and then one by one start to transform the things that drain you by changing how YOU relate to it or by shifting your situation – you have the power to create your reality, but first you have to see it, and then let your inner wisdom guide you on how to make the shifts. change inside first. then outside follows. simple spiritual truth that is harder to practice, but it’s the way. sending you love on your journey. xoox

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Self-Care-Overgiving