Choose Relationships that Support You to Soar … that’s self-love!

 In Self Respect & Honor, Transforming Your Relationships

A wise man once said to me, the relationships in your life can either be like wind beneath your wings supporting you to soar, or they can be like heavy weights that drag you down and keep you from flying free. I married that smart man – Noah Martin – and in the process have created not just a marriage that has supported me to do my great work and live my life’s dreams, but created an entire web of love that has allowed me to step forward past fear and uncertainty to go for my dreams full out! Now that is self-love.

Today, in honor of my marriage anniversary to said wise man (that’s he and I on our wedding day), I taped this divine spark from my heart to invite you to feel the gratitude for the love you have around you that supports you so well… and to also be honest about the ways in which you are blocking love from supporting you – through relationships that drain you or by letting fear keep your heart from reaching out and receiving the love you need to do your great work and live your great life.


Think of any dream you have and the reason you aren’t living it now. Somewhere in there will be a belief about how you can’t do it because you don’t have the $ money or the time. But if you wait for when you have the extra $ or time you think you need to live your dream, you will be too old to enjoy it!  When you choose to grow your LOVE WEALTH – you will create around you the support, security and resources you need to live your dream now.

The only reason I could sell my house and my car, and become a spiritual gypsy, traveling around the world not knowing always where I would live or sleep was because of the massive LOVE WEALTH that surrounded me – in the form of soul family whose house I always had a place… in the form of ‘strangers’ that became new  fast friends and miraculously had beautiful homes they needed watched or lived in… in the form of spiritual mentors who had done walkabouts before and lent their hand to me to help me steady in the moments I got scared… to the big hunk of man I married that helped keep me grounded and feeling safe as I slept in 20 different beds in two months this spring. Love wealth.

Now I offer you the choice to expand your love wealth and let it come in to support you and your dreams to FLY!

Watch the divine spark that I taped for you above and then tapping into all this love energy. I invite you to take the following action here on the self-love blog – Noah and i will witness your stand for love together and super charge your choice to let love support your dreams.

ONE:  Feel the love wealth you have.   “I feel so much love from…

TWO:  See where you are blocking love from coming in to support you to fly.  “I am blocking love by…

THREE: Open your heart and take one bold action to remove the block and let love flow in so you and your heart desire can soar. “I choose to open my heart to love by…

Okay I will go first…

“I feel so much love from Noah, my spiritual mentors and my beloved soul sisters Anne, Shiloh and Christine and my goddess daughters Lucie and Janey who always meet me with love… I am blocking love by not reaching out to ‘celebrities’ who are also embracing the self love message so we can connect and power up self love even more – like Katie Perry, Elizabeth Gilbert, Indie Arie – because my Inner Mean Girl tells me I would be bugging them. I choose to open my heart to love, by reaching out to these three light beams and telling them how much I appreciate their work and also ask for their support in self love day and my new book – yikes!”

Now your turn to post here on the self love blog… One… you feel so much love from… Two… you are blocking love by…. Three… your bold action — open up to love baby and FLY! Noah and I are standing by to witness you and share our special love mojo with you 🙂

choosing-me-before-we-bookTo learn more about choosing yourself first and finding a relationship that honors you to the core –
Read my book, Choosing Me Before We

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Showing 43 comments
  • t diaz
    Reply

    India Arie, yes!

  • Lashpal
    Reply

    I feel so much love from my friends and coaches and my sister and niece and my daughter and son. I am blocking my love not let my friend in my life as he wants to come in in his ways in balance way and also not going to my country where people are waiting to give me love. I am also blocking love from my neighbor relatives who want to support me. My bold action is I will open my heart to my those neighbors to support me and visit India to get showers of love and also open my heart to my friend in his balance ways not in my ways.

  • Penni
    Reply

    I haven’t been reading and watching as often as I should have – but today – I watched this video in particular, and as I sat here and thought about it – the whole message resonated with me.

    I won’t ever feel the love in the world around me, until I realize, I am WORTHY of it, and can actually love myself.

    I have always been a person who will give of myself, to anyone, and give anything I could – because I know that it’s good for the soul to do it – but I would never give to myself. I would never take time for me – I loved others, and let my self care fall by the wayside. I would help build up others – while I let my own ‘castle’ fall apart.

    Your underlying message – that we DESERVE to feel love – that surrounding ourselves with love, and that being a great source of the power to fly and live our dreams – it speaks DEEPLY to me. I will be meditating on this tonight and in the near future – and I thank you for the challenge – to fall in love with the person I am.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Penni – this is a beautiful statement of truth from your heart and soul – i can FEEL It and feel your committiment to YOURSELF . Yes yes yes to YOU choosing ME (meaning you not me – lol ) and to making sure you receive what you need no matter what. xoxo

  • Joy ( Tinley Park )
    Reply

    Christine Thank you.
    It truly does not matter “why” someone does not show love, affection,interest or support.
    All the reasons or excuses in the world that someone has, do not justify me giving up my passion and my purpose for being alive.
    I AM Wealthy In Love. I will continue to disengage from the one who is a taker and a clipper of wings. ( remember @ Easter?)
    An…being Wealthy in love ( giving And receiving) allows me to disengage without drama. Thank you for the “SPARK”. <3. Joy

  • Joy ( Tinley Park )
    Reply

    Christine Thank you.
    It truly does not matter “why” someone does not show love, affection,interest or support.
    All the reasons or excuses in the world that someone has, do not justify me giving up my passion and my purpose for being alive.
    I AM Wealthy In Love. I will continue to disengage from the one who is a taker and a clipper of wings. (remember @ Easter?)
    And…being Wealthy in love ( giving And receiving) allows me to disengage without drama. Thank you for the “SPARK”. <3. Joy

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      YES JOY — you are a bird who has to fly and sing her song! choosing me before we love is the only way to go and I see you flying — believe in yourself. xoxo

  • Cherie
    Reply

    1. I feel love coming from my children and friends. 2. I am blocking love from new sources because I have been so deeply betrayed and hurt by someone I trusted, and find it hard to trust anyone again. 3. My bold action is to stop saying NO to myself and my needs, but to acknowledge and honor them.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Cherie – first a love hug to that part of you that got hurt — big pink kisses of love that may heal and that love not fear will fill it up! And yes to you love giving you what you need! xoo

  • liz
    Reply

    Blocking a good partner by unbelief, hanging onto ghosts of past relations. Will step up and love myself enough to move on, let others love me enough to support that and let my light shine and be available and open to someone, especially someone that I like right now.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Liz big yes to releasing those ghosts! its halloween time so the perfect time to do it 🙂 And yes to opening your heart to others now in form in the flesh, their love will help you release the old! xxo

  • Rhonda
    Reply

    I feel so much love from my husband, Shakeel, for helping me make this life work and supporting me in my creative dreams also. I am blocking love by not taking the time I need for myself to create, relax and exercise fully. Tomorrow, I will get up at 5:30 and make the time for each of those things above. <3

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Rhonda – here is to you RECEIVING THE SPACE at whatever time feels good for YOU to relax and move your body – ask your body each day when it needs that and give it to yourself, even if that is in the middle of the afternoon – and ask that fabulous husband of you to support you to do so when you can’t give yourself permission. xox

  • S
    Reply

    Thank you so much for the sparkly video after watching it I had to step outside to spot the moon and all the stars around it seem brighter… The blocking is the blind spots isn’t it true that love makes you blind too cliche to guess thank you the conversation and topic amazing and thank you it is good to see and hear you or think of you every time I do it lets me remember that I am enough and that is surely the most expanding joy receiving a woman can say to herself. Love.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      S – indeed YOU ARE ENOUGH! and indeed that is exactly what we need to hear from ourselves – in fact i just looked at the bathroom mirror this morning at my friends house and there was a sticker saying I AM ENOUGH! xoxox

  • Debbi
    Reply

    I feel so much love from God, my family, my friends, my colleagues, my clients, from the universe, and from you, Christine!
    I am blocking love by allowing fear to shut me down and keep me silent and unseen.
    I choose to open my heart to love by bearing my testimony in church this month, reaching out to you, Christine (you’ll be receiving an email from me soon), and starting my own YouTube channel.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Debbi – seeing YOUR HEART open wide to be see and be heard – yes to your voice and your beautiful energy being in the world so we can all see and hear you! xoxox

  • Laura
    Reply

    I have just recently realized that self-love . . . well, it could be better. I’ve given love and then some to my husband for 30+ years and my 3 amazing children (ages 28, 26 and 21) for most of my life.
    Now that the kids are successfully launched I’m feeling a void. I have some amazing friends and extended family that I really feel love from. And I’m opening my heart and soul to believe that I am enough and deserve to love myself.
    It’s not too late to learn how – and I’m beginning to believe that I am worth it!
    Thanks for the fabulous video!
    Love,
    Laura

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Yes you are worth it Laura – and a big yes to YOU GIVING TO YOU — this is your time for you – receive, receive receive! xoxo

  • Ann Marie Emmanuel
    Reply

    I feel so much love from the universe, my friends (old and new),from my family especially the foster kids my sister is raising, strangers that I meet every day, my mentors, my fellow board members and my new community.
    I am blocking love by not asking for what I need from my loved ones and my prospective clients.
    I will ask both my sons to come and spend time with me and to help me with the yard work instead of making them wrong for not doing it on their own. I will contact 10 companies and ask for sponsorship for my upcoming fashion show. Love & light

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Ann Marie – fabulous love actions – seeing you take them and remember to do it without attachment to the outcome, and keep looking for evidence of love! xox

  • Jodie Newell
    Reply

    The day your video arrived in my inbox I had already made a life changing decision about love and where I was blocked. So watching your video was a confirmation to me of what I was doing. Thanks for your inspiring video! Here’s what I realized…I have been in a relationship for 15 yrs that was not making me happy, because I never considered what I wanted in a relationship. In this life I had created many experiences such as being a victim, anger, unworthy, depression, rejection, etc. and in 2011 I began to release those experiences/vibrations. I had a major breakthrough in May 2013, where I released the experience of unloved and I knew that I was ready to uncreate that and create loving relationships. During this time I began to understand some of what I wanted in a relationship and that my current relationship was not meeting those needs. I set the intention for what I wanted, and discussed it with my boyfriend, letting him know that I honored who he was but that I also honored who I was. Our needs were at opposite ends of the spectrum though, and I didn’t expect him to change and be something he wasn’t, so I decided I was going to open myself up to other relationships to see what experiences I could create that would help me meet my needs. I felt that I was responsible, not anyone else, for creating my own happiness. I didn’t have any attachment to what would show up but knew that I was intentionally creating love now. The experiences of the past year and a half have been incredible! I created lots of loving relationships. Out of that I developed a friendship with a wonderful guy, who happened to be the first person to show up after I made my intention. The other thing I noticed was that my boyfriend and I were not right for each other any longer. It seemed like he and I drifted further apart than ever before and yet I didn’t want to acknowledge this. He lives out of state, so our contact grew to almost nothing. I never made a clean break with him though as I couldn’t bear the idea of letting him go. This week was when I realized that not breaking it off with him was blocking me from creating an honest, loving relationship with someone else. So I processed the emotions that came up for me about my 15 yr relationship coming to an end. Yesterday, I contacted him and, with honor and respect, I ended it. It wasn’t easy but I knew I had to do it. The main dream I have now, which was the catalyst for this break up, is I have realized that I want to be a mother. My boyfriend had never wanted kids and so I had convinced myself that I felt the same way for the past 15 yrs. But this week, I can’t explain it but it was like a switch flipped inside of me and all of a sudden, at the age of 42, I knew that I wanted to be a mom. I knew I couldn’t create that with my boyfriend, whom I care for very much, but finally realized it was time to part ways and seek my own happiness, completely unencumbered. Very much looking forward to what I am creating NOW!!!

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Jodie thank you for sharing this journey – a big yes to all that you shared – the journey of claiming love for yourself first, to not making the other wrong, just knowing that self love means not settling for less than your heart and soul desires and that the relationships in your life should support your dreams! and loving that your heart keeps showing you more of what it wants – yahoo! xoxo

  • Ariel
    Reply

    I feel so much love from my nieces, friends, my dad and my brothers. My mom ( who is in Spirit :)From life, nature and the Universe. I am blocking love by judging myself and others and feeling scared to open up. I choose to open my heart to love by loving and accepting all parts of me and letting go of judgements. By reaching out to others and spreading love and light and letting go of any unhealthy relationship in my life :)Thank you so much Christine for bearing witness and for all your love and support! 🙂

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Ariel love! Seeing your light reach out to touch other lights — big yes to releasing those self judgements from that Inner Mean Girl and yes to opening up your heart to be seen!!! xoxo

  • Maja
    Reply

    I ll be honest.. I dont think i ever was loved.. Always used for some time to help someone then left alone… I m 34, and nearly giving up.. And now also in a moment where it seems all my trials and fighting for what i love (my dreams) is there to make me suffer .. As i m always close but never making it, getting that role / redord deal etc.. Now waiting for big news that could change all my life even though i was told to move on i try to hope it can still happen.. But love – today felt it from my new loving flatmate: after 34 years of feeling whole world wants me to disappear there s someone who understands me.. Sorry it s off topic, it s very hard now but i ll try to hope love will visit me too .. Thanks for your posts x

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Maja – thank You LOVE for sharing, and not at topic at all. You are not alone in the experience of never feeling loved. I was 21 before I ever felt unconditional love from another being – my four legged soul companion Nanook (and well my fabulous babysitter from 0-3 Maryanne!) … and you can decide right now that YOU ARE LOVABLE and that you are taking a stand to only have LOVING RESPEcTFUL RELATIONSHIPS and lots of them – look in love – in your heart and in the heart of the divine first and the rest will follow. xoxo

  • Vicki Kyriakakis
    Reply

    I feel so much love from my partner Chris, my mum and sister, my soul friends Katerina, Merillee and others who believe in me and are following spiritual paths. I am blocking love by not reaching out more and by keeping myself small and not taking more responsibility for my life. I choose to open my heart to love by reaching out and asking for help and support to realise my dreams. And by opening up to partnerships with other powerful creators and with the universe. 🙂

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Vicki love feeling how much love wealth you already have and LOVE that you are opening up the love bank to receive even more – yes to powerful creators finding you and you them! xoxo

  • Milla
    Reply

    I pressed the play button in a mode of cynicism, but, after a few minutes seeing the credits roll over I was in tears. I was surprised, as although feel love from my son, friends, brother and other dimensional beings, when I thought of partner, there’s a space, and welled up when thought of creativity. So, I choose love for my creative expression, finding a partner and general state of being. With love and thanks, Milla

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Milla – i love that your inner mean girl showed up to be skeptical – we call those imgs Rational Ruths lol — and so happy your inner wisdom prevailed and that you shared here! I witness love you choosing love for yourself and your creative expression and i am knowing that as that expression emits from you and through you that the love around you can only increase, including from mates, dates and partners! xoxo

  • Jeanet
    Reply

    I feel so much love in nature and from my pets. I am deeply loved by my friend K. I am blocking love from myself, still. I have so much more love to give to myself and to open up more to multiple streams of love, by not making optimal use of my talents. I know I have a bestseller book in me, for example. I am going to open up to more love to flow by sitting with my book idea for an hour a day, for the next week, whether I’ll be writing or just gathering up ideas. I sell myself short by putting it off.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Jeanet – YEs to opening up those channels to divine to flow in to you and through you the message that you are hear to share – only your heart can share your message. I’ll be writing this weekend too! and for the rest of my life. love and blessings to your creative soul. xoxo

  • Melanie
    Reply

    Hi Christine – love this video it really made me see that as much as we strive to love ourselves we can’t do this on our own. Life is a journey and people come into our path to teach us lessons and make us a better person. The way that I have been blocking love is I am too hard on myself and don’t allow my body to rest the way it should. I have just recovered from a bad cold and I am taking this time over the weekend to rest and recover. Happy anniversary to you and Noah x x x

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Melanie – yes yes and yes – you got it! and big YES to you choosing to give yourself LOVE by giving your body what it needs. thank you for the anniversary love – received! xoxo

  • Karen
    Reply

    I feel so much love from my Mum and Dad, Lynda, Hayley,and Margaret. I am blocking love by not loving myself enough, grieving for past love still, thinking I am too old, believing what others have said of me in a negative way.I choose to open my heart , by having and allowing myself to have more fun. To getting some support as feel so alone in this world. To spend some money on my appearance especially my nails!!

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Karen -witnessed love your heart opening up to yourself – to FUN and to pleasure and to taking care of Your body in ways you love – big YES to jOY! xox

  • gailen
    Reply

    It sounds so simple: To just stop blocking love, or to change.I have two sons who I dearly love, they are my heart, they also often ( because they are little) sucking the very life out of me. I am in a loveless marriage and am a stay at home. I am going to counselling for women in transition. One bold step.Trying to figure out howto sell all of my furniture and move. A challenge with two kids who refuse grow and change with me. and while it may seem horrible to say, But my wings feel clipped by the total 24 hour a day care taking of children with no support.I feel suffocated.I want to be their mom and have a life.

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Galien love – thank you for sharing and for being real — and for just releasing the pressure and for stating the truth… that is the first step to believve you can have both – to be their mom and have a life that fills you up — the question to ask yourself is “What is out of alignment ?” and “What support do i need?” Sounds like you great start with that group – and remember even if its just 15 minutes of time for you each day, that can make a huge difference -like a bank account you put money in the energy grows, so you keep putting in small deposits of self love and that love and support will grow! xoxo

  • Rita Durant
    Reply

    Hi Christine, I believe you might enjoy getting to visit sometime with a luminary in the embodiment arena. I recommend Laura Hames Franklin and Emily Sullivan for knowing how we are inside, in our bones and organs, and how these miracles resonate with universal love. Your self-love modeling sustains me. Namaste, Rita

    • Christine Arylo
      Reply

      Thank you Rita – will look them up…. and also in LA to study with some really awesome people who are masters at the physical meets the spiritual. love to you! xo

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