Inner Mean Girl Success Story: Achievement Junkie & Over-doer to Self-Love
We wanted to share one woman’s story about how she reformed her Inner Mean Girl! Most importantly, even if you struggle with negative self-talk and inner critics, know that you are not alone. We are here to walk by your side, to meet your Inner Mean Girl, and to teach you how to love this part of yourself that has caused pain and havoc.
Inner Mean Girl Testimonial by Stella St. Rose, former workaholic turned woman loving herself & her life.
Before I reformed my Inner Mean Girl, from an outsider’s perspective, I seemed to have it all. I was a smart, successful, single woman in her mid-to‐late 30’s with a great job working for the U.S. Government; two degrees from two prestigious universities; a home in one of the nation’s most coveted neighborhoods; and loving family and friends.
My inner reality was somewhat different. I felt increasingly stuck and depressed. I worked all the time in an eﬀort to be well-liked, well-regarded, and to matter. My hatred of myself and especially my body ran deep. And my Inner Mean Girl waged psychological warfare on me non-stop. She beat me up all the time, sabotaged me every chance she could, delighted in providing me with a running list of all of my ﬂaws, made me afraid to be vulnerable, to such an extent that I avoided emotional intimacy with potential partners, and she paralyzed me under the guise of perfectionism. I played small and felt inconsequential, ugly, and unworthy, and honestly couldn’t stand to even look at myself in a mirror.
I knew something had to change
so I decided to dedicate a full year to cultivating happiness,
which meant ﬁnally addressing my relationship with myself.
I became quite intimate with my Inner Mean Girl who I named “Vicious Bitch” because she was that mean. Through the process, I was able to see for the ﬁrst time why I had created her. The Inner Mean Girl Archetypes – of which I related to about 90% of – helped me understand these parts of myself.
I also met my Inner Wisdom and began tuning into her, which empowered me to take a courageous act that would change my life. I took a stand for myself and wrote the Vicious Bitch a break-‐up letter! It was the start of me truly loving myself. I started catching a glimpse of myself in a mirror and noticing how lovely I looked – my hair, my breasts, me! These were the ﬁrst complimentary thoughts that I had about my body in over 10 years.
Although my Inner Mean Girl is probably one of the worst that Christine and Amy have encountered, I successfully reformed her. Today, my life is radically different. I am madly in love with myself and my body, and will never again settle for less than what my heart and soul desire. The Vicious Bitch only occasionally rears her ugly head and usually at a fraction of her former viciousness, embodying one archetype at a time, making dealing with her manageable.
I quit my job so that I could take a year oﬀ and go deeper on my spiritual path. Facing my fears, I am taking care of myself, going on adventures, and living a more open-hearted life. I even started dating. I celebrated my body love and conﬁdence by performing in my ﬁrst-‐ ever burlesque show. It’s okay that I have no idea what the future holds for me. In this present moment, I am happy, healthy, and fulﬁlled.
Curious about your inner critic archetypes,
take the free inner critic quiz.