Welcome to Your Self-Love Kit!
This self-love kit is dedicated to supporting you to make more self-loving choices all year – so you can choose self-love for yourself – you know self-compassion, self-care, self-respect, self-empowerment – instead of fear, criticism, guilt, shame and pressure!
Below, in this order, complete the following steps…
#1. Take a Self Love Pulse Check — and choose the branch of self-love you will strengthen this year.
#2. Create your Self Love Promise — this will help you strengthen your self love & stay true to yourself, no matter what.
#3. Make your Self Love Promise — just like you would make a promise to another person, you make this promise with yourself.
#4. Receive Support — to keep your Self Love Promise and strengthen your self love foundations this year.
#5. Receive Inspiration — to help you make self-loving choices this year (including this year’s official self love song, poem and poster).
Step #1: Take a Self-Love Pulse Check
Where are you strong in self-love and where are you weak?
Your mission — to determine WHICH branches of Self-Love MOST need your attention this year.
And then choose 1 branch that you will focus on strengthening.
We choose one branch every year, because what we focus on grows.
Using one of the following three options, choose the branch of self-love that you will focus on strengthening this year.
To begin, let’s see which branches of self-love are strongest for you and which are weakest for you right now.
Remember, self-love is something you grow and nurture every day, not something you achieve.
OPTION ONE: Use The Image of the Self Love Tree to Choose Your Branch This Year.
Look at each of the branches as if you were looking at a real tree. Which branches feel under nourished, unkempt or just plain ignored? Which branches are strong, full of abundance and life force? Rate each branch using the scale below.
There are 11 specific types of self-love that are both related and distinct. We call these “the 10 branches of self-love” plus the roots of self-worth, which together make up the self-love tree.
Just like a tree, you want all the branches and the roots to be strong so the entire tree is healthy and strong. Most people have a few weak branches and a few strong branches. Where are you strong and weak in self-love?
- 10 – SUPER STRONG. You feel really connected to and strong in this aspect of self-love, like you can make choices in your daily life that feed this branch and align with this branch.
- 5 – NEEDS ATTENTION. This branch needs some attention or else you may be in big trouble. If you don’t know what strength level a branch is, it’s probably around 5.
- 1 – NEGLECTED. This branch is so weak that you think it might possibly be dead (it’s not, don’t worry!)
Then print out the hand illustrated tree (or draw the tree yourself) or the Self Love Tree Glyph we use in our professional trainings.
Write your numbers right on the tree. You can also reference page 55 in the book Madly in Love with Me.
OPTION TWO: Listen to the Self-Love Tree Meditation.
In this Self-Love Tree meditation, Christine Arylo will take you through the entire Self-Love Tree to help you find the branches that need strengthening this year.
Once you know your branches of self-love that need to be strengthened, you are ready to choose a self love promise that will strengthen your ability to make self honoring and self loving choices for yourself.
OPTION THREE: Take the Self Love Assessment
This 100-question assessment measures the strength of each branch of self-love as well as provides you with an overall self-love strength indicator. We’ve tested this assessment with hundreds of people and have been doing research on it, so that we can use it to support therapists, counselors, teachers, and more. So far, we have found that the assessment measures each of the branches very well and also provides a good overall self love indicator.
Taking this comprehensive test is free, in exchange that your results will be included in our overall study (anonymous of course). We ask for some general information to help us in our research like age, gender and race. We promise to never share this information. We only ask for your email and name when you sign up for the assessment so that we can email your results to you.
Step #2: Create Your Self-Love Promise
Okay, now it’s time to create a promise or a set of promises to yourself – promises that will give you the words you need to hear in the moment so you can choose a self-loving act, thought or feeling for yourself.
Just like a best friend would do for you — in moments when you feel doubt, fear, judgment, shame or blame — you will say this Self Love Promise to yourself to give yourself PERMISSION to choose a self-loving act over the self-sabotage, self-sacrifice, self-criticism, self-doubt, etc.
Here are some examples of self-love promises…
- If your branch is Self-Expression, your promise might be: “I will be myself, even if others don’t like it.”
- If your branch is Self-Pleasure, your promise might be: “No matter how much work there is to do, I make time for fun!”
- If your branch is Self-Care, your promise could be: “I take care of myself first, without guilt.”
- If your branch is Self-Trust, your promise could be: “I will listen to and follow the guidance of my Inner Wisdom even when it’s scary.”
- If your branch is Self-Respect, your promise could be: “I only have loving, respectful relationships.”
- If your branch is Self-Acceptance, your promise could be: “I love myself exactly as I am right now.”
There is definitely an art to making and taking self-love promises, which is explained in the book Madly in Love with Me. If you have the book, refer to Chapter 14. If you have not gotten your copy of the book yet, click here to read the “How to Create Self Love Promises” section of Chapter 14 of Madly in Love with Me.
Step #3: Make Your Self-Love Promise
This is not a passive adventure. Just like you would make a promise to another person, to make it real, you have to MAKE this promise with yourself in a tangible way.
Taking your promise is as simple as:
- Making your self-love promise VISUAL
- Making your self-love promise VERBAL
VISUAL: Write your promise out so you can see it. We made you a piece of “Heart Art” where you can write your promise (or promises) down and then have this to refer to again and again throughout the year. The act of writing down your promise will help you find the exact words that really resonate and speak to your heart and soul.
VERBAL: Once you have your promise or promises, say it out loud — with intention and commitment — so you can feel it in your body. Make any adjustments needed to make the promise really feel powerful and resonant. Once you have the words that feel true for you, put your hand on your heart and SPEAK & REPEAT your promise 3x to yourself… so the promise really clicks. For more power, do it in front of a mirror. Speak slowly and pause between each repetition.
Step #4: Receive Support to Strengthen Your Self Love
You are Invited to Join Us for a Year of Self Love.
If you want more self-compassion, stronger self-care, more self-esteem & deeper self-worth… this is the year to do it!
Each month you will strengthen one branch of self love in simple yet powerful ways to make loving yourself more of a reality in your day to day life, in how you make decisions, and how you think and feel about yourself and others.
It is the path of creating a strong inner foundation of courage, compassion, care, confidence and clarity – self-love.
Every year in February and March, we invite people to commit to a full year of self-love. You can do the program self study or in community.
Step #5: Receive Inspiration
Every year we choose a self-love poem, song and poster to inspire you to make self-loving choices for yourself all year long. Enjoy!
Self Love Song
Rise Above, by Poet, Singer and Scholar, Jennifer Bloom (with the official music video)
Self Love Poem
You Are So Much More Than Enough, by Shiloh Sophia McCloud
Self Love Poster
Self-Compassion Poster by Christine Arylo & Shannon Kaiser
So glad that we are connected!
Our promise as the best self love school on the planet is to be here to support you to strengthen your inner foundation and ability to make choices that keep you true to yourself.
As a school, we offer courses, programs, retreats, and symposiums on specific topics we believe can help people love themselves, love others and teach others — including their children — how to love themselves in real, tangible ways.
We are more than a school, we have a mission to create a world in which every child born is born connected to love and stays connected to love, because they know how to source love from within.
What you can expect from us is a monthly BOOST OF LOVE delivered to your inbox – that includes simple ways to strengthen your self love, information on our upcoming programs, and stories that will open your heart (we can all use more heart opening these days)!
We look forward to supporting you to choose LOVE, in all ways, and cultivate the inner strength to take care of and stay true to yourself, no matter what.
In devotion to love,
Founder of The Path of Self Love School, Best Selling Author of Choosing ME Before WE, Madly in Love with ME, and Reform Your Inner Mean Girl
To contact our school, you can email us at Love@PathofSelfLove.org
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